Cristiano Ronaldo has scored the most number of goals of any player in history. And yet, there is no other player who divides the audience’s opinion as Ronaldo does. He is often criticised. And compared as being inferior to Messi. It’s fashionable to hate on Ronaldo. To call him hyped and overrated.

His whole journey is marked by critics panning him. And Ronaldo rising up to make them eat their words back. 

When Messi won the Ballon d’Or in 2010 and 2011 and 2012, people bashed Ronaldo. Said there was no way he was in the same league as Messi. And so what happens? Ronaldo won the Ballon d’Or in 2013 and 2014 and then again in 2016 and 2017!

When critics said that Ronaldo only plays well for leagues and not for Portugal just before the Fifa world cup in 2014, he goes and scores a hatrick of goals against Sweden!

Every time people have questioned his performance, he has managed to rise up and out perform. How does Ronaldo do it so consistently?

“Your love makes me strong. Your hate makes me unstoppable.” – Cristiano Ronaldo

Ronaldo channelizes the hate to motivate him. What really? Is that truly possible?

When you hear boos and criticism, adrenaline activates your amygdala. That’s the almond shaped part of your brain that is responsible for fight or flight response. If you stay and fight, chances are your performance will improve. Because the fight response makes you more attentive and heightens your senses. 

But how do you not get cowed down by extreme hatred and criticism? How can you manage to rise up like Ronaldo time after time?

By having cognitive dissonance.

Resolving dissonance

Ronaldo has an extremely positive perception of himself. His skills and abilities. When he faces hate and negative feedback, it creates a contradiction between his self perception and this new information he receives.

When your self perception is unshakeable, that’s when you can channelize all the hate to energize you. Because when the reality does not align with your perception, you will be motivated to change the reality.

Anyone can channelize hate if they see themselves positively. 

How to build positive self perception?

In the 1980s, the state of California ventured on a program to improve students self esteem. Their thesis was good: if we improve how people see themselves, then crime would fall, academic performance would improve, unemployment would fall, good things would happen.

So they held workshops and campaigns. And offered counselling services that was centered on boosting self esteem.

The result?

A big fat zero. There was no improvement on any of the metrics measured. Improving your confidence and self esteem failed to improve your performance. It didn’t change crime rates or academic performances.

Good behaviour improves self esteem. But trying to improve self esteem does not improve behaviour.

So if improving self esteem doesn’t work, then what does?

Focus on self compassion over self esteem

Educational psychologist and professor Kristin Neff tells us that if you have self compassion, you will have higher self esteem. You will have a more positive self perception. You will get up stronger every time you fall down.

When Ronaldo was merely 23 years old and playing for Manchester United, he missed a crucial penalty kick during the shootout. But in the post game interview, you could see how full of self compassion he was. He admitted his mistake and took responsibility. But then did not indulge in self criticism. 

He emphasized learning from mistakes, instead of dwelling on them.

And it’s this ability that allows him to reset mentally and come back stronger. 850+ goals stronger!

Self compassion should not become a crutch

You should have compassion for yourself and your mistakes. But your kindness should not be used to justify your mistakes. Your mistakes need to become a lesson to learn from. You need to have a forward looking outlook.

Self compassion needs to be balanced with accountability. Otherwise it turns into self indulgence. Forgiving yourself without learning leads to repeating the same mistakes. Eventually your perception improves only when your performance improves. 

Action Summary:

• Hate can be energizing if you have a positive self perception.

• The trick to getting to a stage where you think you are awesome is through self compassion. Be kind to yourself. 

• The best way to counteract criticism is to understand it, and then have compassion for it.